I'd have to sum up the year using two seemingly opposing concepts: Peaceful and Challenging. It was peaceful in the sense that it was my overall average emotional state, and challenging in that in my quest for self-revelation, my universe was only too happy to mirror back to me my own broadcast. It was riding the ripples the challenges created in my peaceful spiritual pool that led me through my best year ever for revealing myself to myself.
As has been my pattern throughout my life, the books I read have the most profound impact of any experience. And as I consider that, it reminds of how "in my head" I am. Then to consider the reading material... Notoriously known in my own circles as shunning literary fiction, I use books more like tool boxes--taking a metaphysical hammer here and a spiritual screwdriver there, to carry on the work of deconstructing and reconstructing who I believe I am at any given moment. Hence, the titles of my library would make a guru smile, and my social circle, I'm afraid, yawn.
Which brings up another point about me that I'm actually beginning to embrace and worry less about: I'm kind of a loner. Not "loner" in the sense of shunning social contact--I really enjoy it up to a point; and not a "loner" in the sense of being so cynical no one can stand me (although I fear that has been the case in younger years). It's more about accepting the illusion of separateness among the people I interact with, and now, as of this year, rather enjoying the spiritual detachment that creates.
Detachment doesn't mean uninvolved. It means being IN the world, but not OF it. And, knowing with complete certainty that you and I are connected on a profoundly deep level. On that level, we share the fact of physical incarnation; we share the fact of God residing within us; we share the experience of this illusion called life; and, most importantly, we share the courage and high commitment towards our own spiritual development, or we just wouldn't be here on this dangerous planet of polarity.
My favorite psychic, Sylvia Browne, in her book, God, Creation, and Tools for Life (I finished reading it a couple of weeks ago), repeatedly makes the point that souls who have come into life here on Earth, are here for essentially one reason: to evolve. There are dark souls who don't, and light souls who reap the benefits of the dark souls' attacks--in essence making us light souls stronger, and loading us up with all kinds of points scored on the Other Side.
Carlos Castaneda's Don Juan referred to these dark souls as "petty tyrants," and championed the notion that a really good Petty Tyrant is the most valuable thing a shaman can have--they show the shaman the way to his power, and ultimately to his complete liberation. Without the petty tyrant, a shaman is never challenged, and so, in Don Juan's view, would never develop.
Although this past year I would not say I had been assailed directly by a Dark Soul Petty Tyrant, but I certainly became immersed now and then in the thought forms implanted in my dark side by past battles with them. And when these dark thought forms became activated--either because I was looking for them, or because I was assigned them--anyone, light, dark or gray, could become my Petty Tyrant. Ultimately, of course, as the drama played out within, I discovered my path to power through forgiveness and spiritual connectedness.
Anyway... The year played out, as most years do, around my passion: drumming. I quit one band, started in another, then got laid off there. I went on one short tour (with a promise of others in January and March), and picked up a regular Sunday night gig that continues.
Bass player, E.Z. Eddy's band, The Jumpers soldiered on through the first part of the year, having made the transition from the Kid Lopez Band to Nico Wind and The Jumpers. Nico's resume included a stint with Ray Charles, and several regional bands over the years, and was a hard worker and completely devoted. But by around July, I was feeling a bit in a rut with the band. We weren't recording our original material, and kept playing the same ol' places, and because Eddy was such a wiz at booking, I didn't have any opportunity to do any outside projects. So, I quit. About a month later, everyone else did, too, and The Jumpers faded back into the Unformed. As was the case in the beginning, Eddy will no doubt give The Jumpers new life with a new lineup, but for at least for this particular incarnation, we did get to play on the local PBS radio station, played some high-profile festivals, and did maintain a great rep for being a good band.
After posting a single comment on one of the Portland music internet discussion boards, I ended up in the Cee Cee James Band. We rehearsed a lot more than I was prepared for (many times causing some inner grumbling). I think Cee Cee is just really a hard worker, wanted it to be tight, but was suffering a bit from a past of below-par musicians, so her trust level was low. We did eventually fix that, and became quite the rockin' unit, playing what Cee Cee calls "whiskey-drenched roadhouse blues." I never saw her actually drink any whiskey (on the contrary she was a health nut like me), but her Janis Joplin-esque chops and hard-rockin' material certainly drove the characterization home with audiences. She also has an uncanny ability to get the audience involved in her schtick with off-the-wall between-song comments, and outrageous adlibs within her songs.
I had joined the band on the premise that there would be original songs and a CD production, but as time wore on, neither the original songs nor the CD were forthcoming, and it was turning into a bit of grind for everyone--mainly, I think, because of the expectations of "going somewhere" with the project without the product to do so. So, just this month, Cee Cee announced that she was disbanding for a time to concentrate on developing her original material, and then, if we were all still available and interested in it, we'd re-band this coming summer. Although I was having a lot of fun playing the music (I do love to slam), we were increasingly having to travel further and further out of town to play gigs for inadequate dough, which put a strain on things.
Right now, the blues scene in Portland is at a low ebb, with venues just not willing to shell out the necessary cash for good bands. So, for me, freelancing is a much better way to go. I can play a variety of music with a bunch of different people, name my price, and not be chained to any particular itinerary, if I don't want to.
On that note (pun intended), I did get back out on the road with the fabulous Terry Evans (read about him in my Road Dog Reports). I had been out with him on a national tour in 2001--to New York and back--but this time it was just up and down the I-5 corridor for a few days. We played in Seattle, San Francisco and Sacramento, and it was just a blast. I gotta say I love the adventure of touring--especially with other happy road dogs. Terry is such a sweetheart of a man, loyal to a fault, and straight-arrow honest, and the two Kennys (guitar and bass) are laid back, sensible and funny. I'll be doing some more dates with them in January on the same circuit, and Terry said he'd need me for his European tour this coming March. Yay! I love Europe. Terry is actually bigger over there than here, so the band gets treated like rock stars, and the money is much better. So far it looks like Spain, France and Italy. (Gotta remember to renew my passport!)
Back in July, I picked up a Sunday night jam session at a pool hall/bistro in Newberg, a small town about 25 minutes away. I'm part of a trio with Dan on bass, and Myron on guitar. I got the gig through other gigs I did with Dan, a 60-something, fun-loving character. Myron had owned and then sold the music store across the street from the club, and was crowned "Godfather of Newberg Blues" during one of our sessions. He was actually born at the end of the same city block as the club, where a small hospital had been, now long ago converted to insurance offices. So, his entire life, Myron has lived and worked literally within 100 yards of where he was born. Talk about a "local"!
Anyway, I really like the gig. It's early (7:30), I can get back home by 11:30 to catch my beloved "Stargate SG-1" on TV, and some good players show up seemingly just out of the woodwork. I had played with some of them before, but didn't know they lived in Newberg, so that's been very cool. Plus, there's a built in set of about 15-20 regulars who just love to come out and watch what happens during the jam, have a couple of beers and socialize with the people they see out and around at the stores, schools and churches. It's cozy and friendly.
On the day job front, I continue to work for Tristar, and the lovely Shay Arave. We've become very dear friends, and she is just the best person to work for (and not because I know she'll be reading this)... She's always come through as a friend for me, is truly loyal, and cares so much for her customers, giving them individual attention above and beyond the norm. I admire her for her independence and entreprenurial spirit. She remains my main inspiration.
Although, technically, I'm the Internet guy for the company, I also service phone-in customers, and do some shipping and inventory. The main challenge with the job is keeping up with the latest permutations of internet marketing. Wow. It's amazing how much everything has changed since I started getting interested in it ten years ago. Nowadays, it takes a considerable investment in time and effort to remain competitive online. It's less about conventional advertising, and much more about content--what you're saying on your website, and how you're saying it, and where. It's gotten very complex, and can definitely suck your brains out if you let it.
During a weekend of downpours in Seattle, Shay sent me up there to attend an internet marketing seminar, with the intention of staying overnight for the two-day conference. After some confusion and miscommunication, I ended up going back after the first day, but I got a lot out of what I did see and hear. The seminar group trotted out a few of their online successes, and it definitely gave one pause to consider the ramifications. For example, one man from Cleveland has made over $300,000 doing a website about how to play the Madden NFL video game. A lady from Georgia rakes in over $80,000 a year with her quilting site, and a young fellow out of Kansas City makes over a 100 grand a year with his Learn to Play the Guitar site. Another dude from Minnesota has been making over 100K a year with his Letters to Santa website. So, if you find the right niche, it's possible to do quite well with this kind of home business.
For us in the retail health products realm, it's more about showing up first in the search engines than discovering a unique, in demand product to offer, and that's where all the technicalities expand exponentially. But, the main thing I like about the internet is that one person can have just as loud a voice as the biggest corporations (and usually louder in the case of blogs), so it truly is democratic--despite corporate and government efforts to create a hierarchical structure within it, it just doesn't work that way. So, hope springs eternal for some really big internet success in the coming year.
Adding color to the year, as in years past, are Wookie the black & white Llahsa Apso, and Ralph (King Ralph), the orange tabby, who has by now grown to be just about as big as Wookie. I attribute it to that expensive cat food we've been feeding him... Ralph is the undisputed king of the neighborhood, and has learned to guide us around the house when he wants something by running ahead of us to his empty food bowl, or jumping up on the bathroom sink counter for a drink from the "magic fountain," or his most bizarre behavior: while outside, jumping up and grabbing a screen with all four feet of claws, and meowing with eyes bulging a la Garfield.
The Wookie-Ralph wrestling match continues to entertain with both animals going for the clinch, sometimes in a blur of orange and black fur. So far, I think Ralph has been the greater instigator, unless he's hungry, and then looks digusted when Wookie approaches for a little fun...
I've also enjoyed watching Shay's neices and nephew shoot up like weeds. Maddy is in the pre-teen fashion-conscious stage, while Lydia is so diligent learning the piano at 8. Max is really getting the hang of school at 6, and Mary Jo, their mother, seems to be getting more tired.
I've remained involved in my Bikram yoga practice, although I haven't been quite as hell-bent on attendance this past year as I was the year before. When I first started the yoga in January 2003, I went 154 days straight (a studio record) before I missed a day because of a schedule change at the studio I had misinterpreted. Since then, I've been going 4-7 days a week, mostly driven by my gig schedule. Lately, though, I've been noticing that I haven't had the obvious fallback I was getting before if I missed even a day. I have not attended for as long as 5 days, and although I could feel the absence of the yoga classes in my stiffness level, the rust and subsequent pain hasn't been there. Yay.
The yoga remains such an important part of my life because it is really where "the rubber meets the road" in the way I handle my body. I have always felt like I was holding on too hard, and my body tensed up in response. Plus, my sloppy thinking around how responsive the body is to my thoughts didn't help. For example, it would occur to me that I hadn't had a cold in several months, so, the next day I'd have the sniffles. The sniffles would then remind me that my colds "always go from my head to my chest," so the next couple of days, I'd end up with coughing and wheezing. I finally got to the realization that it was my thought about the cold that was causing the cold. Duh.
I also discovered that I could (anyone can) ask for minor discomforts and mild conditions to be removed, and they will. I'm still practicing on this one, but I do believe it is a skillset to be able to observe and react to the slightest of negative thoughts about the body, and answer with positive affirmations. As Sylvia Browne says in her book, one positive thought outweighs a hundred negative ones. So, it's very possible to build up such a "bank account" of positive thoughts about your body and life that they will automatically override any negativity that may crop up. It's my aim, anyway...
And now (drum roll) the main books I read this year:
A Course In MiraclesI plowed through the extreme density of this tome for about three months before moving on to something else without finishing it. But, for the Biblicly oriented, ACIM is nothing short of a miracle itself. Although to my writer's critical eye, the material is overly convoluted, the message comes across loud and clear: We create our reality as gods of our own lives, and only due to guilt from separating from God do we suffer and remain ignorant of our spiritual powers. I'll probably return to the book at some point.
The Disappearance of the UniverseGary Renard published this in 2002 most specifically for anyone who read (or tried to read) ACIM. The book is about an ongoing 11-year conversation between Renard and two ascended beings who would materialize in his living room. Despite the unbelieveable premise, as many people would consider it (I'm not one of them), there is some really great material in this book, and it helped me feel much more at ease with not having completed ACIM.
The Science of Getting RichWritten in 1910 by Wallace Wattles, in about 120 pages, he lays out the entire reality behind how we manifest things--whether it be material or intangible. It's elegantly written, easy to understand, and there are some guaranteed Ah-ha moments.
The Power of AwarenessWritten by Neville in the 30s-40s, this is another book about manifesting with more of a formal metaphysical take on things. Where Wattles is very practical, Neville is more theoretical, but it's a fascinating read nonetheless. I've read the book probably eight times since I discovered it in 1986, and each time it brings me closer to grasping what personal power is all about.
The Four AgreementsBy Mexican Toltec nagual (shaman), Don Miguel Ruiz, it is in the identical traditions of Carlos Castaneda's Don Juan, but seriously condensed and summarized. Having read the entire Castaneda series a couple of times, Ruiz' book meant a lot to me. These are the Four Agreements: 1. Be Impeccable With Your Word, 2. Don't Take Anything Personally, 3. Don't Make Assumptions, and, 4. Always Do Your Best (see the website for more explanation). In the course of the daily hubbub it's so easy to remember these to keep things in perspective even when negatives are swirling and nipping at your soul.
And most recently...
God, Creation, and Tools for LifeI love Sylvia Browne's down-to-earth explanations with her true "street cred." Throughout the book you hear from Francine, Sylvia's very involved and somewhat cynical spirit guide, and Sylvia, about a wide range of topics from what reincarnation is all about to the best colors to wear. Her information really sticks in your mind, and is very useful to the spiritual journeyman.
Finally, since I hardly ever rent a movie, and even less frequently go to an actual movie theatre, the ones I've seen (don't yawn now) follow my tastes in books.
"What the Bleep..." I just love. It's a pretty geeky movie about quantum physics, with a much less geeky message about the meeting of science and spirituality. Ever since it was discovered that atoms and electrons actually changed their state because of being viewed by a human mind, physics has been turned on its noggin, and a whole new branch of science was born: Quantum Physics. This lighthearted romp through the treacherous conceptual terrain of this esoteric science, ends up delivering some real inspiration. Its basic message is that science is now validating the spiritual truth that we create our physical reality with our minds--not just a few bucks here or a free lunch there--but every single little thing we perceive and experience. It was definitely a wow movie for me, and, besides, I've always liked Marlee Matlin, AND, the movie was filmed right here in Portland.
"The Secret" has been getting a LOT of buzz lately around the "new age" campfire, and is a great companion to "What the Bleep..." Several inspirational people from ministers to coaches to physicists speak about the prevously guarded "secret" that we create our own realities, interspersed between entertaining dramatizations and graphics (similar to Bleep).
So, thanks for reading all the way down to the end! And, before I bore myself with myself, I would have to say the most important thing I learned this last year was that Gratitude is the Attitude. Yes, things can always be "better," but more importantly, they can be a lot worse. So, the distance between THAT and where you ARE is your treasure. Because what you put your attention on expands, to be grateful creates more reasons to be that way. So for 2007, that's my mission!
Love,
Boyd